When there's no job, the action plan looks like this:
- find a job
- spend no money until you find a job
But step one is not totally in our hands. We cannot simply will a job into existence. Step two is more of a not doing than a to do. It feels like I'm standing on shifting sand.
The priority this week has been to locate interim health insurance. Not an easy task. The rates for the Cobra plan we were offered are $1000 per month, Obamacare is $800+ a month and various other plans are in the $700-$900 range. How does this even make sense?!
I can feel fear rising. Fear that our situation will grow worse before it gets better. I'm craving a place to find comfort. That comfort isn't available inside my home right now. We all need comfort - and we are becoming too fragile to help each other with the needed emotional support.
As a Christian, I should be finding strength and comfort in prayer and scripture. I'm just not there yet. It feels like my every breath is a quiet call for help. I'm weary already. I'm looking for a flesh and blood friend to lean on. Maybe that is my best first prayer.